Thursday, October 14, 2004

A Day Off In the Life

I had a day off today. Not much to say about it except I really needed it.

I still got up at 6 am, after 6 hours of sleep, put on some coffee, surfed the net while waiting for the coffee to brew, drank some 3 cups of coffee while surfing the net some more, went to the bathroom at least twice, took a shower, never shave on my days off, I don't care who you are, got dressed, went to town and ate breakfast, picked up a buddy to see how much devilment we could get into all before 8 am. Well, we had to wait till about 10 am before we got into any real devilment. Shit slows down as you get old. I used to be able to get into some real devilment really quick, usually before I left home, but that was way back when I was 35. It's not that I've slowed down so much as it is that I've gotten a little wiser.

Think of it this way. There's a papa bull and his yearling son grazing at the top of a hill and at the bottom of the hill are a bunch of cows all around a watering hole. Well, the yearling says to papa, "Hey papa, let's run down there and kiss one of them cows." Papa bull looks into his son's eyes and says, "Why don't we walk down there and kiss them all?"

What do you mean I can't say "kiss" on the internet?

And now, for something really apolitically correct. Have you been feeling a little apolitical lately? Perhaps what you need is a trip to Communist China, where the people have to vote in every election yet the same guys keep getting elected. By contrast, in The People's Democratic Republic of the United States, no one has to vote and, many there are that do not, yet the same guys keep getting elected here too. Do you see a trend developing here? MMmmmmm....

Since it has been demonstrated that the same thing happens in two different places with two different governments, may we now be able to expand Robert's Fundamental Theorem of SSDD to also include Robert's Fundamental Theorem of SSDPS. Seeing that we have stumbled over an amazing coincidence, may we now claim to have solved Einstein's Unified Field Theory to some miniscule degree, and may we simply rename it Robert's Fundamental Theorem of SOSE?

All right, the Kim-chee is deep now, and hot. Put a soup bone in it.

Abbreviations Explained:

SSDD Same Sh*t Different Day
SSDPS Same Sh*t Differing Political System
SOSE Same Old Sh*t Everywhere

Don't forget to vote! It really does make a difference. Keep the faith, baby!

1 comment:

Elmarand said...

hilarious... awesome blog, keep up the good writing